


in which joshua goes to a club, looks hot af, and Things Happen

by imgoingtohellforthis_saveme



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 'double j' will appear in my nighmares i just know it, :), M/M, No Angst, because life is sad enough as it is, club times, help me, i need validation please read this, i'm pretty sure writing this was a mistake, lower case intentional, water is the BEST drink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2020-09-06 08:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 12,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20288548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imgoingtohellforthis_saveme/pseuds/imgoingtohellforthis_saveme
Summary: as the title says.joshua just wants some God Damn Fun. is that really too much to ask?





	1. in which joshua goes to the club and orders a lit drink

**Author's Note:**

> well, this was supposed to be a hell of a lot shorter than it is turning out to be.

____________________

“when i first saw you, from across the room,  
i could tell that you were curious.”

\- perfect, 1d

“man, she said she want drinks,  
sorry, baby, but that shit kinda pricey.  
no, i’m not paying 20 for a shot,  
now, i know that sound cheap, but that’s how i stay icy.”

\- club poor, rynx + tmg

(“inspiration” for this. tmg is great)  
____________________

joshua wasn’t really sure why he still went to these things.

okay, that was a lie. he knew exactly why he still went to these things.

it’s fun. even for only one night, to … be someone you don’t have the courage to be during the day.

(he just wanted some god damn fun. is that too much to ask?)

____________________

joshua took another sip of his drink, the pounding bass reverberating around his skull. (it was tap water. alcohol is expensive, okay?)

he lowered the cup and sniffed quietly. _ oh shit. mistake. _ he inhaled a miasma of sweat, urine, and booze. delicious.

taking a step towards a free bar stool at the end, he changed his mind abruptly and opted to lean against the counter and survey the room. as he picked up one of his feet, he felt the floor pull at his shoe a bit, letting go with a weird wet popping sound.

(his first, and likely not last, casualty of the night.)

he attempted to look at it stealthily, because honestly, kicking back your foot to look at the bottom isn’t… well… let’s just say it isn’t the best for first impressions. he huffed gently through his nose, because those matte-black shoes (with a small heel) were one of his favorite pairs and he wasn’t entirely sure why he wore them here.

_ah, that’s right. they make a really satisfying tapping sound._

(joshua will try to tell you that he’s an “alpha male.” this is a lie.)

(he knows it, too.)

he turned his attention from his shoes and scanned the room.

and, because he wasn’t piss drunk, he could clearly (ish) see the tacky neon designs on the club walls, the questionable stains on the walls, and the table surfaces that somehow all looked mysteriously sticky for what they truly were. hm. ignorance is bliss, isn’t it?

_hey, perks of being stingy. i get to watch everyone else get wasted as fuck._

he glanced towards the “dance” floor, currently packed with people who probably thought they were being sensual and graceful (who actually looked like they were doing the standing worm).

_man, it’s hot in here. _

the air was heavy, and the surface of the bar was cold against his arms. the contrast between the chill on his arms and the heavy hot air surrounding him made him feel feverish.

his black button up shirt began to feel uncomfortably tacky against his skin, chafing against the sides of his arms. he tugged it away from his body absentmindedly, the air on the dampness of his skin gifting a brief cool sensation. he sighed, set his cup down (drink 1: burned), and strode to the bathroom to “freshen up,” or, as much you can freshen up in a club bathroom.

he missed the sharp pair of eyes that watched him go.

___________________

alright, dear reader, you’re probably wondering: what the actual fuck is happening, whose eyes those were, and why the author has such a weird tone right now. (additionally, why did they call me a “dear reader?”)

well, i can (and will) only answer one of those. i just finished the most amazing book, it was so fucking amazing. (strong female character, fighting, fucking, gay, excellent writing style, it was compelling, o … i could gush about this book forever.) and now, unfortunately, that writing style is seeping into my own writing style. my writing style was similar to begin with, but now everything is just. extreme.

so get ready for some sarcasm, weird tone, and unnecessary formal writing when it shouldn’t be there, people.

and for your other questions.

all i can say for now is: patience, friend. patience.

___________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment, or something. feedback (or just blatant praise, to feed my tiny ego) are absolutely appreciated!


	2. in which the author butts in (again)

___________________

hey, it’s the author again.

i was about to start writing the next section, when i remembered that you, dear reader, are definitely expecting jeonghan to be right at the other side of the bar, intently watching joshua. 

he was not.

and if this were any other good, normal story, this mysterious friend would probably be eye fucking him, or something else similarly explicit.

he was not doing that either. (although, i, too, was nonetheless looking forward to that.)

(once again, i say. patience.

for you, and for myself.) 

and now, friends, back to the story. i’m sure you’ve gotten quite impatient with me. 

____________________


	3. in which you are introduced to a couple more of our boys

____________________  
  
  
  
hansol set his glass back down at the bar with a satisfying clink and leaned back, surveying the scene unfolding in front of him.

  
there wasn’t actually much of a “scene,” per se. he was mainly watching a (very) cute guy across the room get increasingly hot. both in terms of heat, and in terms of attractiveness.  
  
said man visibly sighed and glanced into his cup, leaning back against the bar. he then smoothly swung one foot over the other, crossing them. how did he make that simple movement look so good?  
  
hansol should probably not be watching anyone this closely, not entirely sure if he was relieved or disappointed that the man hadn’t noticed him yet.  
  
_just… objectively, you know. he’s really fucking hot._  
  
(dear reader, imagine looking across the room and seeing this masterpiece.)  
  
  
  
(you’re welcome.)  
  
(and, yeah. i think he is, objectively, really fucking hot too.)  
  
Hot Man tugged at his shirt a little, hansol unconsciously mirroring the movement. (which proved pointless, because the sleeveless tank top he currently donned didn’t retain or release heat very well.)  
  
hansol mused over the hotness of this attractive man, absentmindedly sipping his drink. a soft pat on his shoulder brought him back, the thundering music returning to his ears at its full volume.  
  
he turned in mild confusion, but his face softened as his eyes rested upon a familiar figure in a pastel blue hoodie, a darker blue jacket on top.

  
  
it was his boo. his bae. his honey schnookums.  
  
(he called seungkwan none of those things. well, sans boo, and that was only to yell “BOO SEUNGKWAN.” this usually occurred while chasing him around the house.)  
  
“who’s that?” seungkwan asked curiously, his hand still resting lightly on hansol’s arm. he noted how hansol’s eyes had gravitated back to the black button-up shirted man at the end of the bar. “he’s pretty cute.” he leaned his head onto his boyfriend’s strong shoulder, brown hair tickling hansol’s neck.  
  
  
_what a pair we make._  
  
  
(neither would have it any other way.)  
  
hansol sighed wistfully. “yeah. what do you think?”

“he’s perfect.”  
  
_clink._  
  
  
____________________  
  
  
  
(joshua’s voice.) surprise!!  
  
____________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don’t even know where this story is going anymore. isn’t that lit, fellas. i’m pretty stoked too.


	4. in which our characters finally interact, and wowee this is going somewhere now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> compared to the previous chapters, this one is hella long. whoops.
> 
> enjoy :)

____________________  
  
  
joshua arrived back at his spot at the bar, the bathroom having smelled so foul he couldn’t risk staying in there for more than a few minutes. he ordered another cup of tap water.   
  
he sipped from it, looking up just in time to see a man suddenly appear in front of him. he startled, heartbeat speeding up. he wrapped his hand tighter around his glass, leaned back on his elbows, and tipped his head.  
  
“can i help you?”  
  
the man in front of him laughed softly, looking down a little, his lips pulling up in a gummy smile. cute. joshua was relieved, he’d been intimidated at first. you know, black sleeveless shirt, wallet chain bumping against black jeans, big ass muscles. the gummy smile and the fluffy hair put him at ease.  
  
“ah, i was about to ask if you wanted company. i saw you earlier, you seemed lonely. and hot.”  
  
“temperature, or like, hot hot?”  
  
the Strange Man shrugged teasingly, one corner of his mouth pulling up higher than the other. “both.”  
  
joshua, against his will, felt his cheeks heat up. he ducked his head, smiling bashfully.  
  
hansol couldn’t stop himself from smiling too. “you’re so cute! you remind me of a cat, to be honest.”  
  
seungkwan chose this moment to pop up behind hansol’s shoulder. he grinned at joshua and waved a tad awkwardly. joshua narrowed his eyes at the both of them before replying slowly:  
  
“yeah, i’ve heard that from my friend a couple times. i’ve decided to take it as a compliment. tell me your names again?”  
  
“oh! my bad. i’m hansol.”  
  
“his boyfriend, seungkwan. you are very cute, by the way.”  
  
joshua smiled again, uncertainly this time. he felt awkward, suddenly hyper-aware of everything his body was doing. “thanks. so, are you guys looking for someone, or…?”  
  
“nope, just you.” hansol this time. they looked at each other, and back at him. hansol fondly wrapped his arm around seungkwan’s waist, seungkwan leaning into the touch.  
  
joshua suddenly had an urge. a primal urge. an overwhelming urge, if you will.  
  
he absolutely _needed_  
  
  
  
  
  
to boop seungkwan’s nose.  
  
(gotcha.)  
  
(hey. don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.)  
  
he decided to go for it. live life on the edge, right?  
  
“hey, seungkwan.”  
  
seungkwan looked at him expectantly. “yeah?”  
  
“can i boop your nose?”  
  
seungkwan stared at him incredulously for a solid two seconds, before dissolving into laughter. the awkward tension finally disappeared from the air.  
  
seungkwan, still stifling the last of his laughter, managed to get out, “sure, sure,” weakly gesturing for him to go ahead. hansol was watching the two of them with wide eyes and a hand partially covering his mouth.  
  
joshua grinned happily and booped seungkwan’s nose. it was a very boopable nose. (he regrets nothing.) “this is weird. i’m sorry.”  
  
hansol just smiled, in a rather endeared sort of way.  
  
he let go of seungkwan’s waist and took joshua’s arm, nodding towards the dance floor. his hand felt warm and pleasantly rough. “dance?”  
  
joshua set his drink down and searched hansol’s fierce, dark eyes, and then seungkwan’s more poised, placid ones. he felt hot again, and suddenly stiff, his limbs aching to move.  
  
“yeah, let’s go.”  
  
they led him out onto the dance floor.  
  
(drink 2: burned.)  
  
  
____________________  
  
  
it may be worth noting that, out of the three of them, seungkwan was the only one who could dance. (at least, that joshua noticed. he certainly couldn’t, which explained his tendency to stay rooted by the bar, and hansol mainly watched seungkwan while distractedly swaying and moving his feet back and forth.)  
  
it may also be worth noting that seungkwan was really good at dancing. in stark contrast to a majority of the crowd, seungkwan did not look like he was doing the standing worm.  
  
seungkwan had sighed in good-tempered frustration after seeing joshua not do much beyond gape at him, (he thought he was being inconspicuous) before grabbing his arm and pulling him out into the crowd a little bit. here, the worming bodies were a lot denser, kind of claustrophobically.  
  
it smelled a lot like sweat. joshua pressed closer to seungkwan, hoping to escape the undulating bodies surrounding them, and that whatever cologne seungkwan used would help counter the ammoniac scent hanging heavily in the air.  
  
it turned out that he had to get extremely close, and it also turned out that seungkwan didn’t mind one bit. he pulled joshua in even closer, fitting a hand on his waist and one behind his neck. joshua swallowed thickly, the skin on his arms starting to prickle.  
  
(note: sweat can often smell strongly of ammonia, especially if the person eats a lot of red meat. you didn’t need to know that. now you do.)  
  
“hey, you okay?” seungkwan asked, beginning to expertly lead joshua through a simple repeating dance.  
  
“yeah, just the smell _here_, and the smell of you, is just…” unsure of how to complete that sentence, joshua made a vague hand gesture in the air, scrunching his nose. seungkwan chuckled.  
  
“got it. come closer, then.” he twirled joshua, who felt a little silly, but not silly enough to not enjoy it.  
  
“um, how? and what about… like… hansol?”  
  
“oh, he’s over there. he’s fine.” joshua turned his attention in that direction, and hansol did, in fact, look fine. he also looked like he was enjoying watching them, and like he had been for a while. joshua wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about it. a butterfly took flight in his stomach.  
  
seungkwan let go to direct joshua’s hands to his shoulders. joshua felt a little silly doing this, too, considering that he was taller than seungkwan. (not by much, though.)  
  
they danced some more. or, more accurately, seungkwan danced some more, and joshua followed his lead. (he was very proud of himself, having not stepped on seungkwan’s feet even once. that, friends, is an accomplishment.)  
  
before joshua knew it, they were back next to hansol. seungkwan grinned, tucking himself back into hansol’s side and offering joshua’s hand to him. joshua blushed and half heartedly held his hand over his mouth.   
  
_what is even happening right now._  
  
hansol took said hand in his. he then reached up and fixed joshua’s collar, his fingertips brushing over his neck and skimming his collarbone. (his collar did not need fixing.)  
  
_what is this??__ does this even happen in real life?_  
  
before he could ask either of those questions aloud, he was whisked back to the dance floor.  
  
____________________  
  
  
author’s rules:  
  
no fucking on my dance floor.

that's it. that's the rule.   
  
  
____________________  
  
  
you may have noticed that i didn’t include much detail on the dancing scenes. this is because i can’t really dance. i never really fucked with any of those school dances, and the few that i went to, i didn’t dance at.  
  
this is because my dancing is akin to a scarecrow trying to “get it.” (we don’t talk about that.)  
  
____________________


	5. in which they kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m writing this in the library, and hopin no one looks at my laptop. they better not, or i’ll smack a bitch the fuck up.
> 
> movin on.

____________________

they went back to hansol and seungkwan’s place.

____________________

joshua hesitantly followed hansol and seungkwan into their apartment. he couldn’t see very much, but that was to be expected. the lights were off, after all. (turn off the lights, save the planet!)

the door closed behind him, latching and locking shut. before he had a chance to think, _what the hell am i doing_, he was pushed gently against the door.

a body pressed up against his, an arm around his waist, the other next to his head. a whisper by his ear. hansol.

“are you still sure you want to do this?”

joshua swallowed, head tilted down. but he had made his decision.

“yes. i’m sure.”

a soft sigh. the skin and fine hairs on the back of his neck prickled. he shivered.

a hand cupped his chin, tilting it back up with calloused fingertips.

joshua’s eyes had adjusted to the darkness by now, focusing on the face now in front of him. hansol’s eyes had darkened, and the gummy smile he’d shown before had melted into the smallest smirk.

hansol’s hand moved from the door and gently brushed through joshua’s hair, who couldn’t help but close his eyes briefly and lean into the touch. hansol leaned in slowly, eyes fixed on joshua’s, waiting for him to take initiative.

without hesitation, joshua kissed him, feeling hansol’s warm lips, the hot, solid arm wrapped around his waist, holding him close, the other hand now stroking through his hair.

joshua took his hands off the door and placed one at the nape of hansol’s neck, fingertips resting over the spine beneath. he wrapped his other arm around hansol’s broad shoulder, connecting them. he could sense the muscles shifting with every movement. all he could hear was their lips and the rustling of clothing.

he dimly registered that they were walking further into the apartment.

two new arms gently took joshua away from hansol. he opened his eyes a little, reluctantly breaking the kiss and sliding his arms off. his hair felt mussed on one side and his lips puffy. hansol looked similar.

he looked hot.

seungkwan kissed him, too, and his was softer. he didn’t hold joshua as tightly, as commanding.

it was lovely.

hansol’s body pressed up against his back, hot and strong. joshua’s breath quickened, his stomach fluttering as kisses trailed down his jaw and neck. he broke the kiss with seungkwan and, sighing, tipped his head back against hansol’s shoulder, reveling in the sensation.

seungkwan pecked hansol on the cheek and took joshua’s arm, leading them into the bedroom.

the door clicked behind them.

____________________


	6. in which the author comes back, (i was not, in fact, abducted by aliens), and it's sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m back, it’s been a hot second, i’m sorry.
> 
> let’s move on. i have some spicy stuff waiting.
> 
> ____________________
> 
> listening to cloud 9 by tobu and itro :)
> 
> ____________________

they’d let him stay the night.

he woke up mostly due to the heat, and kicked away the blankets before setting his feet down on the soft rug at the side of the bed.

he sat there for a moment, stretching his back, hands on his shoulders_. _nice. (it also hurt. ow.)

he stood up and gathered his clothes from the neat pile on the bedside table (where hansol had so kindly folded them before he slept.)

seungkwan blinked blearily at him, soft brown hair falling over his eyes. he shook it out of the way, his eyelids heavy.

groaning, he flopped over onto his stomach, whapping hansol in the chest.

“hey, lump. wake up.”

joshua blinked in surprise. “hey, wait, you don’t have to get up. i’ll just see myself out-“

“oh, don’t be silly. we’ll make you breakfast. it’s kind of late. just go in there and take a shower.”

joshua could only stare stupidly, his clothes drooping in his hands. seungkwan shooed at him like a mother hen. hansol started to stir beside him.

“go, go.”

joshua obediently went and took a shower, still feeling rather confused by the entire exchange.

____________________

he emerged from the bathroom with a puff of steam following in his wake, feeling incredibly self conscious. he paused for a moment, hand on the door to the kitchen, contemplating his life and every decision he had made ever.

he took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

he was confronted with a painfully adorable domestic scene, seungkwan and hansol cooking breakfast and chatting, looking so incredibly at peace with each other and in love.

his heart hurt. (just a little bit.)

but he couldn’t help smiling. he padded into the kitchen as they finished cooking.

the two of them joined him at the little circular table, a small meal of rice and vegetables quickly set out.

joshua felt a little warmer inside. “ah, you guys didn’t really need to do this, i’m already intruding -“ he protested weakly. (he loved it. it was very sweet.)

“shut up and let us feed you.” seungkwan bonked him on the head with a chopstick.

joshua laughed behind his hand, and ate. seungkwan and hansol (who had been weirdly quiet up until now) managed to rope him into a conversation about the purposes and uses of unlined vs lined notecards. it was very intense.

____________________

joshua helped them clean up, as for some reason he had always enjoyed washing dishes. he found it calming, or something. (he wasn’t entirely sure.)

hansol leaned on the counter, watching him carefully, while joshua finished up and washed his hands in the warm water.

he dried his hands and looked up, startled, when hansol touched his shoulder lightly.

hesitantly, almost. it was like he was suddenly unsure of the boundaries between them.

joshua sighed. he had been dreading this. the reminder that this was inevitable sitting like a cold brick in his stomach.

“you know, this was just a one time thing, right? we don’t have to ever see each other again.” it somehow sounded more pathetic out loud. he tried to clarify, “well-“

hansol cut him off. “i know this was a hook up, but seungkwan and i were talking before you came in, and we’d like to, you know, stay friends? we really enjoy being around you. you’re a really …. you’re just great, and we want to hang out with you?” he laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

joshua wrapped his arms around his stomach, the cold brick in his stomach breaking up into lots of tiny giddy butterflies.

“really? you couldn’t have liked me _that_ much,” he teased.

hansol just grinned that beautiful gummy smile at him, and joshua melted a little bit, his heart aching a little bit less. in truth, he hadn’t wanted to lose touch with the two kind, adorable men he’d met the night before.

“i’d love to stay friends with you guys.”

__________________

i spy a new relationship coming soon

___________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drop a comment! some guy kept sneezing on my hair today and i think i'm getting sick. whee.
> 
> |  
v
> 
> make my day?


	7. in which they meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ____________________
> 
> listening to "goin’ up" by zipzipper :) 
> 
> if you ever wanted strippy elevator music, this is the song for you.
> 
> ____________________
> 
> important information: this segment takes place around a week later.

____________________

joshua’s breath hitched, and he pressed his hands harder into the cold surface of the bar. he let his head fall forward, eyes slipping shut.

the body behind him pressed closer, the hand that was burning hot trails under his dark red shirt running up his spine and grazing over the back of his neck before resting, searing, between his shoulder blades.

joshua shivered.

his back arched, in a way that was nearly imperceptible, but the other man noticed, and pressed every so slightly harder.

joshua took in a shuddering breath. the man behind him laughed breathily, his breath ghosting over joshua’s ear.

_jeonghan, that’s his name. jeonghan._

(he’d forgotten for a second, you see.)

the man’s - jeonghan’s - other hand (yes! he does, in fact, have two!) bracketed joshua’s hip, fingers pressing into the tissue before skating lower.

jeonghan’s slim fingers wrapped around the top of joshua’s outer thigh, lightly, brushing.

teasing.

the hand shifted closer to the inside of joshua’s thigh, burning as feverishly as the hand still on joshua’s back. joshua could hear jeonghan breathing carefully, almost like he was concentrating very hard on what he was doing. (which he was.)

joshua’s core started to burn as brightly as those god forsaken hands, and he whipped around, ignoring the sweaty handprints he left on the bar. jeonghan’s hands slipped from his shirt and thigh, and joshua ached for their heat immediately. jeonghan cocked his head.

“yes?” he smirked._ that bastard actually smirked. i didn’t know that people still smirked. _

joshua crossed his arms over his chest, swinging one leg over the other (in the same way that had captivated hansol). “are you busy tonight?”

jeonghan stepped closer, only an inch of space separating the two. he gripped the bar counter on either side of joshua’s waist.

“if i were, do you think i’d really be here, with a man as beautiful as yourself?”

joshua couldn’t help it.

he couldn’t.

he winced.

“that was really bad.”

jeonghan laughed, pushing back and running his hand through his hand swiftly through his silver hair. it fell back messily, a little more fluffy and endearingly disheveled.

“yeah, it sounded better in my head than out loud,” he grinned lopsidedly at joshua, who smiled back.

“so, my place or yours?”

____________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ____________________
> 
> (if you were to ask him later, joshua would ardently claim that he didn’t enjoy that nearly as much as it looked like he did.)
> 
> (that would be a lie. he loved every second of it.)
> 
> ____________________
> 
> stream lalalay by sunmi :)
> 
> ____________________


	8. in which joshua drives, and it is Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a hot while. sorry about that! hopefully, these next few chapters will satisfy the horny demon inside all of you. 
> 
> enjoy!

____________________

it was eventually decided that they would go to joshua’s place.

joshua drove, being that he’d only drunk water (surprise, surprise), although jeonghan hadn’t been there long enough to surpass the legal blood alcohol limit.

he still found it rather difficult to drive, being that jeonghan was, through no fault of his own, incredibly distracting.

he was like a text message. joshua _knew _that he needed to keep his eyes on the road, as it was really fucking dark, but his eyes were constantly pulled away, towards the passenger seat.

where a beautiful man was.

a _very _beautiful man.

who also kept brushing up against joshua’s right arm, and gifting joshua brief, fleeting touches.

joshua yanked his traitorous eyes (god dammit, eyes) back to the road as he started to drift out of the lane. he resettled his fidgety hands on the wheel, and determinedly fixed his eyes straight ahead.

_this is the most stressed i’ve been driving since i took the official driver’s test._

(while not necessarily true, it was also not necessarily _un_true.)

fascinating.

he was so … captivating.

joshua attempted to relax, resting his right arm on the gear shift. _that’s cool, right? yeah. that’s cool. suave. relaxed. did i mention cool - _

jeonghan placed his hand lightly on joshua’s arm, causing him to jump a little bit and lose his focus on the (very fascinating, but dark!) road.

“are you alright? you look kind of flustered.” jeonghan sounded amused, smug, and concerned all at the same time.

impressive.

“y-yeah. i’m fine.”

_cool? fuck that. why would you be cool when you can just,, not be cool?  
_

“are you sure? i can drive and you can direct me.”

_bastard. he knows exactly what he’s doing._

joshua willed his god damn voice to steady itself.

“i’m fine. we’re almost there, anyways.” _firm. firmness is key.   
_

jeonghan merely shrugged, lips curving up slightly.

“i’ll take your word for it.”

____________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhh y'all know what's next


	9. in which jeonghan does not want to ascend those Pesky Stairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this will probably make my top 10 of things i shouldn’t be doing! i am writing this on a plane :)

____________________

(jeonghan did not take joshua’s word for it. he seemed to be in a perpetual state of amusement, resting his head on his hand, and watching joshua drive, like it was interesting for some reason.)

fortunately for joshua’s blood pressure, the drive to his house was over in less than seven eon-long minutes.

he fumbled with the door handle, clicking it back into place before finally managing to shove the door open (with slightly more vigor than strictly necessary).

jeonghan slipped out of the passenger side and, fists in the pockets of his black jeans, nodded towards the apartment building.

“please tell me you live near the bottom.”

joshua grinned.

“nope!”

jeonghan sighed, as if life’s very essence was wearing him down to the bone.

“i didn’t think i’d have to actually exercise??”

joshua rolled his eyes, walking forward, grasping jeonghan’s forearm, and tugging it. (for someone who had just complained about the simple act of moving, he had a very firm forearm.)

“cmon, ya big lump.”

jeonghan let himself be tugged into the building, unable to keep a small, fond smile off his face.

did joshua see it?

yes. yes, he did.

(and if his ears burned a little from seeing it, and if his heart felt a little whipped for a boy he just met, well, he’ll just be keeping that to himself.)

____________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also short. spicy stuff coming up.


	10. in which the Key does not want to participate in the euphemism i intended to set up, so jeonghan gets involved and then the euphemism is Complete, finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an ode slaps, the whole fuckin thing slaps, it’s great, i love it. happy jeonghan day, whooo, i’m late to everything!

___________________

after jeonghan unfortunately witnessed joshua’s failure at Opening a Door with a Key, a task that millions of people accomplish every day with no problems at all, he took the key himself, the metal warm from joshua’s hand, and slid it into the lock. first try.

joshua glared at him and snatched his key back, grumbling something about “perfect men.”

“what was that?” jeonghan cocked his head innocently, but had difficulty suppressing a smile. this unfortunately resulted in a weird half smile that looked suspiciously like a smirk. he couldn’t help it - joshua looked uncannily like an angry kitty.

flushing, joshua shoved the door open and stalked in, boots clicking heavily on the wooden floor. “nothing,” he huffed. he only hoped that the door would smack the (hot) smirk off of jeonghan’s stupid (read: handsome) face.

it did not. jeonghan made it into the apartment unscathed, beautiful face looking as beautiful as ever.

they both stared at each other for a solid two seconds. it was, indeed, as awkward as it sounds.

the door closed behind them and latched shut with a resounding _click_, both boys involuntarily glancing at it.

joshua wasn’t desperate enough to offer jeonghan a drink to break the awkwardness. (because, in his opinion, nothing makes the mood more awkward than asking someone if they’d like something to drink. you either end up with 1) the awkward refusal, or 2) the even more awkward acceptance, followed by the awkward drinking of the drink.)

yeah, no.

why was this so much harder than usual?

____________________


	11. in which they kiss, and it's cliché, but it's Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm posting really short things because i have a pre-written monster of a kissing scene coming up, and i'm kinda building up to it right now. so for now, here's 250 words of some kissing, and please anticipate the 1100 words of kissing and pinning and Things that are coming up! i'm excited. (i hope that you are excited as well)

jeonghan couldn’t take it anymore. the awkwardness was eating his soul from the inside out. he took the leap of faith.

he strode close to joshua, closer, so close. he cupped the back of joshua’s head, his other arm snaking around joshua’s lean waist, holding him tightly. his slim fingers dug into the soft hairs above the nape of his neck.

joshua’s hands ended up resting lightly on jeonghan’s chest. his heart rabbited, and the next breath he took in shuddered, reverberating through his chest.

he quickly slid his hands up to jeonghan’s neck and cheeks. “can i?”

jeonghan responded by pressing his lips to joshua’s in a cliché, searing kiss.

(the cliché didn’t make it any less enjoyable.)

joshua crushed closer and closer, jeonghan’s firm torso burning through his shirt and filling his head with mist. a warm hand slipped under his shirt again, running soft fingers roughly up his back before settling on his lower back.

joshua broke away first, breathing hard, vision hazy. he blinked, hard, and refocused his gaze on the lovely face in front of his. his skin still burning under jeonghan’s touch, heart racing, eyelids heavy.

maybe he also liked being held tightly, like he was in danger of drifting away on a passing breeze.

___________________

jeonghan was a mess too, his hair ruffled from when joshua’s hands had raked through the dyed strands, lips red and parted.

he looked wrecked and they’d barely done anything.

but boy, was there a lot that joshua wanted to do.

____________________


	12. in which joshua is Embarrassed, but it gets Spicy at the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i split it in half again im so sorry im running out of prewritten stuff and i couldn't resist

joshua draped his upper arms onto jeonghan’s shoulders, dangling his forearms lazily off. still out of breath, he pecked him on the lips chastely, pulling away before he could initiate anything else.

jeonghan wrapped his fingers around joshua’s waist.

“so, how do you want to do this?”

“however you want to.”

“however i want to, hm?”

joshua nodded. he pushed his hips against jeonghan’s, impatient.

jeonghan just smiled, amused. he shifted his hands down to bracket joshua’s hips instead, holding him back. joshua glared at him, but was too cute for it to have any real effect.

“whoa, hold on. anything i should know about?”

the question could mean many things: anywhere from STDs, kinks, roommates, to how early he had to get up tomorrow and everything in between.

he shrugged. he wasn’t particularly ashamed about it (and rightfully shouldn’t be), but he still hated saying it.

“i’m a terrible top.” firm. (not so firm. he still studied jeonghan’s collar, and fiddled with his sleeves.)

to his (abashed) surprise, jeonghan merely chuckled and lifted his chin back up, so their gazes met. “yeah, i figured that out already. anything... less obvious?”

dammit.

he hesitated. should he really tell this boy he just met what he was into?

but he was so _pretty_, and _good, _and he’d been _lovely_ so far, and he was _right here,_ and joshua could almost _feel _the temptation of a breathtaking night at the tips of his fingers.

jeonghan noticed him wavering and uncertain. “hey, it’s okay. no sense in this not being good for the both of us, right?”

_ah god. he’s patient, too. _

this was definitely one of the weirder hookups joshua had had, but in a good way. he wasn’t complaining.

and as long as this boy stayed this wonderful for the rest of tonight, joshua was _down_ for it. and anyways, the likelihood of him sticking around until tomorrow were slim, so joshua wouldn’t have to worry about feeling weird while doing normal Human Things around someone who knows him in a strange, sexually intimate way.

not that joshua didn’t want him to stay over. he’d really like it if jeonghan actually stayed over. however, he knew that it was unlikely that jeonghan felt the same way.

he decided to say it. and to say it real quick. speed is key. he just wanted a good time, alright?

“iliketobehelddownand,like,praised. i…yeah. also, bedroom’s this way.” he gestured extravagantly in an attempt to distract the still-processing-the-lightspeed-sentence jeonghan. (he could practically see the mathematical formulas whizzing by behind him, like a real life rendition of the meme.)

when jeonghan didn’t move, he stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest. firm. _it’s fine. he’s not into that. it’s fine. it’s _LITERALLY_ fine. _

_time to regain all of your lost dignity. _

“are you coming, or do you want me to show you out? i’m kind of underwhelmed.”

that got him to move.

in a heartbeat, jeonghan had roughly pressed joshua against the wall by his shoulders. joshua instinctively pushed his arms back to steady himself, and jeonghan simply grasped his wrists and pinned them against the smooth surface. the paint was cold against his back, his body quickly heating up again.

jeonghan raised an eyebrow, and, voice low, said:

“you want to say that again?”

_____________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do y'all want smut?
> 
> im trying to decide if i should write some
> 
> i have a few ideas


	13. in which the author finally gives y'all that second installment of that other part and it's Getting Hotter In here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's poppin what's good
> 
> here's the second part

____________________

it wasn’t even really a question. it was like he just knew that he was good, like he somehow knew all the keys to joshua’s locks, the locks that made him tick.

his breathing quickened. he pulled rather halfheartedly at jeonghan’s hold, not really wanted to escape (because it really turned him on) but also wanting to maintain the facade he’d slapped on earlier of wanting jeonghan to leave.

he was satisfied to feel that jeonghan’s grip was solid and unforgiving. perfect.

lids low, he knocked his head back, arching his neck so only the top back of his skull rested on the wall, the bottom part and his neck off. the cool air of the apartment caressed over his bared skin, raising small goosebumps.

(he’d heard that this look made him look delectable.)

it was time to test that theory. (with someone who, for some reason, mattered more than the others.)

he made the Classic Rookie Mistake of looking into jeonghan’s eyes, and was met with a heady, lust-filled stare that made him shiver. his legs shook, suddenly incapable of supporting his weight.

jeonghan regripped joshua’s wrists and wet his lips.

_score_.

his core burned hotter.

unable to maintain eye contact, joshua rolled his head slightly to the side, exposing more of his neck.

his eyelids hung heavily, a desire to close them and give himself over completely threatening to overcome his senses.

instead of kissing and biting his neck like joshua had expected, jeonghan just stacked joshua’s wrists in one hand, and, pressing them over his head, lightly dragged the fingers of his free hand over the exposed flesh before brushing them over joshua’s lips.

joshua’s breath caught in his throat, his lips automatically parting. (his lungs had been giving up a lot in the last couple of hours. jeonghan couldn’t possibly be good for his health.)

he mustered up all his voice box had to offer, prayed it didn’t shake too much, and managed the absolute banger of a:

“w - well?”

_ah, well, there goes that. _

jeonghan’s expression darkened, but his desire to tease joshua seemed temporarily satiated. shoving joshua’s wrists harder against the wall, he jammed his thigh between joshua’s legs and rolled his hips forward.

joshua bit back a groan, first at the sharp pain of his wrist bones grinding into the wall, then at the much-desired pressure and friction. he let his eyes finally slip shut.

he suddenly felt soft lips on his, barely having the mind to react and kiss back before they trailed down to his jawline and down his neck.

jeonghan’s hand (the one you, dear reader, probably forgot about) rucked his shirt up, skimming over his torso and lingering above the waistband of his jeans.

joshua shivered, arching his back into the fleeting, delicate touches.

the lips vanished from his neck and he mumbled in protest.

quiet laughter prompted him to peel his eyes open

“you look... so beautiful.”

while normally a compliment so blunt would leave joshua blushing hard and frantically denying it, here, in the mind frame that he was in, it was different.

he could only take in a sharp breath and let it out shakily, tightening every muscle in his body as he desperately held back a moan.

lips once again returned to his, kissing him hard. jeonghan let joshua’s wrists down, opting to cup his face instead.

“c’mon, where’s that bedroom you pointed to before?”

joshua pointed limply, legs jelly, slumping into jeonghan’s slender, strong body.

they stumbled over together, falling onto the bed with a soft _whump_.

______________________


	14. in which the author attempts to write some foreplay and ouch, it pains my soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks inept_fangirl
> 
> i also kinda wanna write a lil thing where joshua is big top and jeonghan is a bottom, i think that’d be fun
> 
> so if you don’t want smut and are a Pure Child, which i highly doubt because you have made it this far, skip this chapter lol

____________________

joshua’s back sank into the soft mattress, the sheets wrinkling and folding around him. jeonghan’s body lay on top of his, scorching through his thin shirt and molding to his sharp edges.

lips opened against his, moving slowly but firmly, teasing his open. he parted his lips willingly, jeonghan swallowing every gasp that escaped through them.

as he kissed back, he felt his bloodstream thrum, his heart speeding up, his body urging him to go _faster, faster, faster. _

he’s only mortal.

so he deepened the kiss. their lips pressed together almost bruisingly, soft smacks and harsh breaths filling the otherwise quiet, thick air.

joshua felt jeonghan’s chest heave against his, rising and falling with each breath he took. joshua finally pulled back, albeit reluctantly, and immediately missed the pressure and movement of jeonghan’s lips and tongue. he struggled to catch his breath while his trembling fingers found and snuck under the hem of jeonghan’s shirt, pushing it up to his shoulders, tracing the light definition and resisting from sinking his fingers into the soft skin. his hands faltered as he shivered at the sensation of slick lips pressing kisses to the junction of his jaw and neck, tongue tracing down to the just above his collared shirt.

joshua shoved jeonghan’s pesky shirt farther up. “off,” he mumbled deliriously, aching for a look, a _touch,_ of jeonghan’s torso.

he sat up obediently and shucked it. it fell inconsequently on the floor, while his eyes remained fixed on joshua as long as they could.

he wrapped his arms around jeonghan’s shoulders, feeling his back muscles flex and roll as he re-situated himself above him.

jeonghan smiled lopsidedly. he deftly worked the buttons on joshua’s shirt, and as his hands worked their way down, down, down, achingly slowly, joshua couldn’t help squirming and shifting underneath. his head was beginning to fill with clouds.

jeonghan turned his attention to touching his lips to the areas on his chest that his fingers exposed, so joshua took the opportunity to sneak a burning hand down. he palmed jeonghan through the front of his jeans, and reveled in the jolt that shot through his body.

jeonghan’s eyes darkened, and he pulled joshua into a sitting-ish position by his arms. “yours. off.” joshua hurriedly shrugged the fabric off, exposing his arms. (he had strong arms, and he knew it, too. he also knew that he was very likely stronger than jeonghan by brute force alone.)

_‘hey, what if we arm wrestled’ _was a thought that made its way unbidden through his mind, and the laugh he was about to let slip through his teeth quickly turned into a pant of desperation as jeonghan’s fingers grazed over the front of his pants.

it was too light a touch - it only made him hungry for more, _more_. he itched with desire, and stray musings about arm wrestling quickly vanished as he reached down to undo his belt. he lifted up his hips and slid it out of the loops with a satisfying _hiss_, and let it slap against the bed on its way down to the floor. his hips bumped against jeonghan’s on accident, and tiny sparks jumped through his bloodstream.

“you like to be held down, huh? i don’t think i could even if i wanted to.” jeonghan, whose heavy-lidded eyes were gazing down at his shoulders.

joshua just smiled and tried not to blush. “you’re certainly welcome to try.”

“i’ll _hold_ you to that.”

“dammit.”

____________________


	15. in which the author was going to write much more explicit stuff but gave up. hope it's still hot?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m on a plane rn and there’s a lot of turbulence, it’s knocking out the precious few functional brain cells i have left
> 
> tense changes to present for no reason beyond that i wanted it to

this was the part joshua had been waiting for - the part that happens after they’ve both shucked their clothes and he can _feel_ jeonghan, feel every crevice of him and unabashedly revel in it.

he arches his back, breath escaping in sharp bursts as jeonghan runs his fingers over his sensitive stomach, fingers that slide through the sheen of sweat on his torso and press into his hips, just hard enough to ache sweetly.

he kisses jeonghan hungrily, harshly, until his lips feel just that little bit of pleasantly numb and he has to break it to grasp at jeonghan’s waist.

one of jeonghan’s hands slips down joshua’s pelvis, where he proceeds to tease him until joshua’s whole body feels taut, as it itches for some actual pressure, some real friction beyond these light, grazing, slow touches.

slender fingers continue to brush over him maddeningly, no matter how much joshua pushes his hips up or asks wordlessly for more.

jeonghan connects their lips again, tongue messy against his, pushing and pulling.

“what do you want, beautiful? tell me.”

joshua can’t stop the flush from spreading across his cheeks, dusting them in light spots of pink.

“you - fuck. just... _in_ _me_, please.”

“okay.” and joshua receives a strangely sweet, lingering kiss.

the sharp, artificial snap of the lube bottle, the rustling of the sheets, cold fingers working him open, stretching him, accidentally grazing his prostate and making his breath snag in his throat, chest heaving.

it hurt, but not too much, and the anticipation of what was to come made it more than bearable.

the crinkle of a condom wrapper ripping open (after a curse as jeonghan’s lube covered fingers fail at their job as Fingers), and _oh he’s inside me,_ moaning filling the room as they pant, kiss sloppily, sweat-slick bodies sliding together and soaking the sheets below.

___________________

“stay the night?”

a kiss._ ah. he’s not staying. _

“i think i better go.”_ of course._

he could only watch as he dressed quickly and closed the apartment door softly behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wrote four thousand words on the plane, which would normally be enough for me to drag this story out for another month, but i'm actually vaguely excited to write more so expect updates whenenver the fuck i feel like it instead of every week about ;0


	16. in which the author provides some actual background to joshua's life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow that was a ride
> 
> also there’s a tailwind of 158 miles per hour, planes going 670 mph rn what goes ooooon
> 
> note: tense still in present (if it is confusing i apologize)
> 
> almost 1000 words for y'all :)

joshua had a week. it wasn’t particularly good, nor was it particularly bad. it was a rather unremarkable week.

he woke up, a sleepy lump of Boy, and cleaned up in front of the mirror until he effused more Sleepy Man than Boy (he is, in fact, 24, thank you very much).

he went to work. he came home from work. and then he worked at home (as you do).

he walked a mile through very Cold weather to get a frozen pizza from the corner drugstore (as you do).

he ate said pizza over the course of three days. it was actually pretty good, for a frozen pizza. 12/10 would recommend.

he met up with hansol and seungkwan on thursday evening for dinner, which was good for two reasons: one, he wanted to hang out with them, and two, he had just run out of frozen pizza and didn’t want to go get actual vegetables from the market.

he wouldn’t call himself lonely, really. he had everything he’d always wanted: a stable, 9-5 job (well, kind of stable), friends who genuinely cared for his well-being, and an apartment with air conditioning and decent water pressure in the shower.

so then, he reasons, he should have nothing to desire.

yet, he feels so strangely discontent, like he’s missing something every time he walks down the stairs of his apartment complex to grab a quick cup of coffee from that small shop right next door.

like he should have shoved one more thing into his pocket beside his wallet and keys.

and it’s as he’s here, having arrived ten or so minutes earlier than he usually does, that he ruminates over the events of the past week, trying to determine just what exactly is giving him this nearly imperceptible itch under his skin.

the feeling of wanting to listen to music but not _that_ song, actually no not _that _one either, or _this_ one, so you just flip through the options, looking for that_ one _song, but you don't know what it is, skipping and skipping songs and eventually just quitting the app in frustration, more dissatisfied than when you started.

he takes a sip of coffee. and it’s at times like these that he hates that his water bottle is so good at its job. it kept the coffee hot, so hot that he burns the roof of his mouth.

he chokes the remainder down and gingerly presses his tongue to the affected area, wincing.

_where was i? _

he can’t remember, not for the life of him. so he blows on his coffee, refrains from taking another sip, waves to Jim (who is at the register mondays, thursdays, and fridays, except when he’s not), and heads to work.

last day before the weekend, at least. maybe some sleep will help.

____________________

when he walks in, he is confronted by a familiar routine. he nearly trips over that annoyingly raised lump of carpeting in the entrance, but doesn’t, so he shoots finger guns towards jasmine, who rolls her eyes and (predictably) bonks him on the head with her pen.

“idiot.”

“not today!”

she just steals his coffee and takes a sip herself. “gross. actually get creamer for once.”

“i can never win, can i?”

she just shakes her head at him, nose scrunching. he laughs.

he unpacks his bag and looks through his tasks for the day, finally beginning on the one he wants to do the least.

____________________

it’s at the end of the day that he gets to the last note he’s made for himself:

_ask jsmn know good sngrs han + kwan _

_ah. ask jasmine if she knows any good singers for hansol and seungkwan_. as he recalls, they’re writing a song together, for themselves instead of someone else for once, and are looking for someone with a lighter voice to complement theirs.

“hey, pen-girl,” he says, rapping her on the shoulder with his own shitty pen, which so happens to be a pen he "borrowed" from a hotel room.

“what can i do ya for,” she replies, pretending to smoke one of her many ballpoints like a cigarette.

“do you happen to know anyone who’s a good singer? not necessarily, like, professionally, but with a good enough voice.”

“ah, so someone who wins at karaoke and pwns everyone, but only after sitting there drinking and watching everyone else fail with some sort of sick delight?”

joshua laughs, surprised. “well now _that’s_ oddly specific.”

“i may have JUST the person for you.”

he brightens up a little. “awesome! and preferably someone with a like, lighter ish tone. more,” he gestures vaguely, “airy.”

“demanding. but also yes, he does have such an,” she mimics joshua’s gesture, but definitely more exaggeratedly, “airy voice.”

“did he, perhaps, beat you at karaoke?” joshua teases. “you? the karaoke queen?”

“queen of getting drunk and screaming in tune, but this time i was actually trying and this dick kicked my ass.”

joshua gasps in mock horror. “no!”

“yes! anyways, i’ll give him your number.” she sighs. “the things i do for you, my good dude.” she twirls her pen and sticks it back into the bursting holder with a flourish, where they are categorized both by type and ink color.

“thanks! i’ll bring you some, i don’t know, fruit or something to make up for this colossal favor i’m asking of you.”

“you better.” she finishes packing up her bag, flashes an unenthusiastic peace sign at joshua, and heads wearily for the exit.

he won’t bring her fruit.

well, he might, but if he does, it’ll be a singular blackberry or something.

______________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you guys know how god damn hard it is to resist making joshua say "OH MY GOD JASMINE" 
> 
> the answer is hard. very hard indeed.


	17. it's chapter 17 so... say the - say the name! seventeen!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are we losing touch? 
> 
> if you believeeee, they put a man on the moon.
> 
> (man on the moon)
> 
> if you believe, there’s nothing up my sleeve
> 
> nothing is cool
> 
> -Man on the Moon, REM 
> 
> there’s no reason i decided to put this, was just listening to it :)

joshua’s at home, on a friday night, drinking water when he could be at a club, letting the heavy beats reverberate through his skull and make his brain vibrate (like shownu’s tiddies in shoot out).

he just doesn’t feel up to it, he supposes.

_am i getting old? _

_no, i still like going and vaguely want to, i just feel kind of emotionally icky. _

_am i-_

his phone lights up. an unknown number has messaged him!

prank? textdoor neighbor? singer man? all three? life is a true adventure, is it not?

he opens it.

< ———————————<

hey, joshua, is it?

jasmine gave me your

number, said you were

looking for a singer?

< ———————————<

he types back quickly.

>————————————————>

yep, that’d be me. my friends

are looking for someone, actually,

to record a song with them. if

you’re interested, i can set up a

time for you to meet them.

>————————————————>

<———————————<

sounds good! my

name’s jeonghan,

and this number always

works, so you can give

it to them too, if

you’d like. <

<———————————<

joshua freezes, fingers hanging numbly over the keyboard. _could it be the same one? really?_

he dismisses the thought quickly, rather against his better judgement._ nah, must be a weird coincidence. _

he messages hansol instead, ignoring that little nagging prickle in the back of mind that said, _“hey idiot, it’s your hookup on the phone. you know, that hookup who gave you some of the best sex of your life? remember him? remember?? remember????”_

he sets up a date and time, and sends the information to jeonghan-who-may-or-not-be-the-same-one-who-he-told-his-kinks-to-then-had-great-sex-with-but-who-also-left-immediately-after.

hansol messages shortly after, saying how he’d like joshua to join them in the studio if the preliminary meeting works out.

jeonghan pings him back, saying that the meeting “sounds great” and he’s “so excited.”

joshua hastily types “yes, of course” to hansol because, well, they’re his friends and he wants to support them. also it sounds fun. and this jeonghan probably won’t work out, anyways.

he clicks off his phone and goes off to brush his teeth.

____________________

unfortunately, the preliminary meeting works out. he finds out a week later on sunday, lying in bed with his head throbbing rather unpleasantly after going to a club the day before and failing to, as the kids say, cop a lay.

_fuck. i don’t need this right now. _

he drifts back to sleep, recording session forgotten.

____________________

he receives details of the recording session on thursday, and regrets agreeing to it with every brain cell in his head so forcefully he worries his cerebral fluid will leak out of his ears.

he also, very unfortunately, has to decline jasmine’s invitation to come to her place and play “drunk scrabble,” with her friends, a game he has never heard of but nonetheless really wants to play.

she pats him on the shoulder sympathetically (with her hand, not a pen, surprisingly). “come to the next one. i’ll save you a shitty folding chair.”

he smiles gratefully. “thanks, jazz. i would really like to go, but i have to help record a song with that karaoke dude you hate, who i may or may not have hooked up with once.”

she laughs loudly, without restraint.

joshua grumbles, “at least _pretend_ to have sympathy.”

“i’m sorry! but only you could do this to yourself, dude. also never call me jazz again, please.”

“jasmine. i may die.”

“in that case, i will bring some lovely flowers to your funeral.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have the rest of this written now, except for one more explicit scene ;)
> 
> if you are reading this, would you like the rest of the chapters out one/day or slower?
> 
> any feedback is appreciated!


	18. in which they meet again, it is awkward, and joshua likes jeonghan's singing voice a little too much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a phat hunk of 1183 words :)

it’s saturday, and joshua reluctantly dresses in a black sweatshirt and slim blue jeans, but he does put a more refined white shirt underneath just in case. he combs his hair in the mirror for a little too long, before realizing he was caring about his hair of all things in case it was, in fact, _the_ jeonghan that was going to be there. he shakes his hair back forward, letting it flop over his forehead.

jasmine messages him a few hours before he goes to leave for the studio.

<———————————<

hey, you’re always welcome

to text me for a rescue b u t -

i’ll probably be drunk off

my ass, so don’t count on

it :)

<———————————<

he smiles and pockets his phone. the studio is luckily within walking distance, so he pops his earphones in and sets off, REM’s “Finest Worksong” blasting in his ears.

and if he walks to the beat, with a slight sway in his hips, no one has to know.

_______________________

he makes it to the studio before jeonghan, whoever the fuck that is, and proceeds to have a lovely chat with seungkwan about the future of kimchi in such a rapidly changing society.

it made sense at the time.

he’s in the middle of laughing about something stupid seungkwan had said when they hear a soft rap on the door, both glancing at each other as if to say, “you get it!”

joshua gets it, metal barely cold around his clammy palm. he opens the door too fast, and because he’d chosen the genius vantage point of halfway behind the door, he whacks himself square on the toe. and for good measure, the door slams back shut.

“shit, fuck, ow, god take me now.” he doubles over, grasping at the rough leather of his shoe in the hopes that the pressure will placebo his toe into not hurting like a motherfucker.

it does not. seungkwan’s roaring laughter does not help in the slightest, either.

he stands up gingerly, shooting a mock glare at them. “hey, when i die of Pain to Toe, remind me to _not_ invite you to my funeral.”

seungkwan just giggles, leaned back in his chair and with his head rested on his arms, still shaking. “you looked so dumb-“

joshua hobbles back to his seat, and shoves seungkwan’s chair away from the table in retaliation. “asshole. i thought i was going to have to fucking amputate.”

seungkwan has curled up in the fetal position on the floor. “hey, you closed the door on our guy, you know,” he manages between gasps.

_shit_.

joshua timidly opens the door again.

“i heard screaming, what happened?”

_oh no. oh no oh no. it’s _the_ jeonghan. _

they both freeze, and stare at each other.

“you, uh, you look good?” jeonghan tries. it’s so awkward.

“you too? you dyed your hair. looks nice.” joshua, accompanied by a stiff thumbs-up. it’s true, though. the black suits him.

“do you guys know each other? i thought joshua got your number from a friend.” seungkwan has extracted himself from the floor, and is in the middle of dusting off his clothing.

he is literally dusting off his clothing. he is clutching a swifter duster, the cloud of removed particles drifting down slowly to the worn down carpet.

“i didn’t think it was the same jeonghan,” joshua admits, succeeding at keeping the unsaid “hoped” from his lips, but fails at keeping the red tinge from his cheeks.

“yeah, me ... too. the same joshua, i mean.” jeonghan keeps looking at him. they accidentally make eye contact, and break it quickly.

seungkwan is watching this with amusement. he seems to know something.

he ushers then in with the duster. “well, sit down. i sent hansol down for a thing and he’s finally on his way up now.”

they sit in silence while seungkwan bustles around doing who-knows-what. the fluorescent lights and chilly air make the whole situation seems faintly surreal.

jeonghan opens his mouth to say something just as hansol busts in. “i have the thing!”

seungkwan grins and pecks him on the lips. “thanks, babe.” he puts ‘the thing’ away, but it’s in a bag and he won’t tell what it is. joshua and jeonghan exchange a confused look, before shrugging and looking away.

hansol claps his hands together gleefully. “well, shall we begin?”

“yes, let’s.” joshua agrees immediately. he kind of wants to leave as soon as possible. he’s been scanning the two posters on the walls for way too long for his feigned interest to actually seem genuine.

“yes, please. and wait, i’m sorry, but are you recording as well? i wasn’t aware.” jeonghan this time.

it takes a moment for joshua to register that the question was directed towards him. he shakes his head vehemently. “no, i’m just here to help out, outside of the booth. if you don’t mind, of course? i can leave if you’d like.”

jeonghan rushes to say no, he can stay, of course, that’s his mistake.

_too quickly. hmmm. _

_interesting._

____________________

they record. joshua isn’t entirely sure what to expect when jeonghan steps into the booth at first, but is blown away by his sweet voice and the way he fits his tone around certain words and syllables makes joshua kind of want to kiss him really hard.

he refrains, shifting in his squeaky folding chair instead (he’d relinquished his better folding chair to hansol) and flipping his pen restlessly between his fingers (a habit he had unfortunately picked up from jasmine).

seungkwan notices. (of course he does.) he asks if joshua would like to take a drink of water or step outside, he looks uncomfortable. is he coming down with something?

joshua shakes his head, tries to focus on making notes for feedback instead of letting his mind run wild.

he successfully manages to make a few, and when he gives them to jeonghan through the clear wall of the recording booth, he prays his voice isn’t as shaky and unsubstantial as it sounds in his head.

and then regrets making said note, because now he has to listen to jeonghan croon the line again, and therefore he must suffer anew.

when jeonghan exits the booth, tennis shoes making light padding sounds on the ugly, questionably stained carpet, he notices the faint flush in joshua’s cheeks and the way he keeps fidgeting in his seat.

he touches joshua’s shoulder, out of probably only bro concern, and says, “hey, are you okay? you don’t look so good.”

“yes. yeah. yes, i’m fine.” he can’t bring himself to make eye contact. “actually, seungkwan, i think i will actually take your advice and go get a quick drink. don’t wait up.”

as he closes the door behind him, he hears seungkwan asking jeonghan if he would please accompany joshua to make sure nothing happens to him.

hansol helpfully adds, “yeah he looked vaguely like he was going to pass out or something.”

seungkwan: “please go?”

_____________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whenever i see MX with six i'm like FUCK and then i feel sad :((
> 
> wonho nooooo


	19. in which they go to a bathroom and Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to this new dialogue style that sounds vaguely like it’s a from a story driven video game like “life is strange,” but it’s also just really fucking weird. 
> 
> and yet… i couldn’t help but use it anyway.

joshua walks quickly down the hallway. he sheds his sweatshirt, suddenly feeling far too hot. he tucks it under his arm and decides to walk around the building and go back, clear his head a bit.

he settles into a rhythm quickly, the sticky clicking of his boots on the linoleum soothing his heart into calming down. the crisp yet fresher air helps his clammy skin figure its shit out and return to a normal human temperature.

he takes a deep breath, readjusts his sweatshirt in his arms. he hears a rapid clicking coming toward him. someone running?

he whirls around, accidentally whipping jeonghan on the arm with one of the hoodie strings.

he forces a smile. “you can go back; i’m feeling better. i know seungkwan pressured you into coming.”

jeonghan shakes his head, breath loud in the the otherwise shinily quiet corridor. joshua can hear people moving about their days in the rooms attached, but the sounds are muffled and distant. the faint buzzing of the fluorescent lights fills the silence.

“seungkwan did basically shove me out the door, but i was going to go anyways.”

“why? you actually ran, as well. didn’t know you had it in you.” joshua turns to continue walking his loop around the building.

jeonghan laughs ruefully before panicking slightly. “hey, slow down. you walk so fast.”

“climbing a few flights of stairs multiples times a day to my apartment has certainly done the trick.”

a sigh. “yes, can we please talk about that?”

“why?”

“because it’s killing me.”

“really.”

“yes, really.”

“fine, but let’s go somewhere less... populated.”

______________________

they find a single stall bathroom and lock the door.

_<<< we close in on the bathroom, but the door is locked! we must instead loiter outside and attempt to overhear. >>>_

“i can’t believe i’m in a bathroom of all places, with someone i had a one night stand with.” joshua.

“yes, about that.” jeonghan.

“what about it, exactly, do you want to talk about? we hooked up. you left. that’s it. that’s all it needs to be.” bitter staccato.

“why are you angry? i’m trying to just say that i’m sorry, okay? jesus.” jeonghan.

_<<< we hear footsteps clacking back and forth. >>>_

a huff. “you’re sorry? for what? and i am not angry. i AM confused, though. i thought this was just a normal club hookup, no strings attached.”

“yeah, well, me too, but then i left and i just. i can’t stop thinking about you. it’s driving me crazy.”

another huff. definitely joshua. “that seems rather like a _you_ kind of problem.”

“what? are you saying you haven’t given me a thought? not even _one_?”

_<<< the two sets of footsteps near each other and stop. >>>_

joshua seems to be floundering. “well, no, but i have been feeling off lately and i now suspect it is all your fault!”

“why are you talking like you’re from the 1800s?? also why is it my fault?!”

“because you are the only thing that happened that was out of the ordinary, and i revert to formal speech when i’m nervous! shut up!”

“i’ll shut up if you kiss me again.”

“and why, pray tell, would i do that? actually, i don’t think i’ve been feeling that off. i think i’m fine, really.”

“then why are you still in this bathroom with me?”

“why did you bring me to this bathroom in the first place?”

_<<< ooh, a sharp rebuttal from joshua. >>>_

“because i want to actually get to know you, you idiot. aaand also maybe have sex again. it was. you know. really good.”

“what? you want to date me? let me say that again: you want to date a hookup.”

“yes, you ass! i do!”

“well, then kiss me.”

a small pause.

“wait, that’s my line.”

“lost it now, didn’t ya?”

_<<< another pause. faint smacking sounds and hums.>>>_

a loud thump.

_<<< we can’t take it anymore. we pick the lock with our trusty pair of chopsticks and enter the bathroom. >>>_

joshua has pushed jeonghan against the smooth blue tiles, his hands settled around his waist, causing the fabric of jeonghan’s shirt to rumple around joshua’s fingertips. jeonghan has linked his around joshua’s neck, and he’s fingering the soft black hairs at the nape of his neck

they kiss again, slowly. when they pull apart, breathing hard, joshua says:

“you were right about one thing. the sex was great.”

jeonghan slides his hands from joshua’s neck down to his pecs, and then shoves lightly. joshua doesn’t move an inch. “damn right. also let me off these tiles, who knows how many people have sneezed all over them.”

joshua grins (the bastard). “i can think of a few less ideal things that have gotten on those. ooh, actually, i won’t tell you. i’ll let you come up with far worse things... by yourself!”

jeonghan’s eyes widen almost comically and he shoves joshua’s arms again. “AH what have you done??? let me out!”

joshua steps away, but keeps his hold on jeonghan’s waist, not missing the way he crushes against him (probably to escape the disgusting, cold blue tiles by his back, but that’s not important). “you’re warm.”

“i feel like you’re using me as a teddy bear.”

“kind of. come over tonight?”

“i don’t think that’s how dating works, but sure. text me your address.”

___________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got a soonhoon in the making, almost done to be honest
> 
> its very different from this one, but i think it's coming out very well, and im very happy with it already


	20. in which the author gives the people some smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this is so god damn late but a ton of shit hit me like a bulldozer this week, and i got the thousand word sex scene out around midnight today so there's that

joshua has just finished hanging up his jeans to dry when he hears the doorbell ring.

now, this can mean a few things (as doorbells often can).

it could be a package. it could also be a murderer, or a new neighbor coming over to show their enthusiasm about meeting him for the first time and how much they want to be friends. it could be someone delivering a tiny cactus to spruce up his welcome mat (that actually had a tiny “fuck off” in white in the very corner).

he looks through the cloudy peephole. it is none of these things. it is, in fact, our favorite boi, yoon jeonghan. he appears to be studying the welcome mat very closely.

hm.

joshua opens the door. “hey.”

“hey. nice welcome mat by the way.”

“noticed the ‘fuck off’ then, did you?”

“i did.”

“well, come in then.”

“was that a test?”

“no, but i’m impressed anyways.”

jeonghan just grins. he awkwardly takes his jacket off, so joshua saves him the trouble of asking and quickly hangs it up on the coat tree he has in the small sitting room.

“have you eaten?” he asks jeonghan, who has already made himself at home on the couch. he appears to be sinking into it, somehow.

“it’s 10 pm, so yes. have you?”

“yes.”

“nice.”

“so, what’s your favorite type of cup?” joshua decides to throw out his tried and true icebreaker.

“my what?”

“your favorite type of cup.”

“no i heard you, i just assumed i hallucinated it.”

“what? do you have a vendetta against cups? because that may prove to be a problem.”

jeonghan finally laughs lightly. during that conversation, he’d sunk lower into the couch.

“hmm, i think i’m going to have to go with mugs. i like hot drinks and mugs are cozy.”

“for me, tall glass cups are the best.”

“what do you drink in _those_? water?”

“as a matter of fact, yes, i do. also.”

jeonghan flops his head over to the side, refusing to move any more of his body. “yes?”

joshua raises his eyebrows. “how are you not drowning in my sofa right now?”

______________________________

_finally, _finally, finally they progress (past the extreme discomfort i put all of you readers through in that last section). they manage to talk about slightly more interesting things, about themselves, a little bit, joshua even questioning jeonghan about how the actual _fuck _he beat jasmine at karaoke, because she is incredibly competitive and would never give up a victory without a fight.

“as she got mad, she got more and more drunk, and then she had to run to the bathroom to vomit. ”

joshua winces. “she’s still mad about that, by the way. when you guys have a rematch, you better invite me. i can’t wait to watch your downfall.”

“ye of little faith.” jeonghan laughs, his body shaking against joshua’s. joshua had completely failed to move jeonghan from his claimed spot on the sofa, so he had ended up joining him instead. they are now currently smushed together, both lying on their backs, facing the ceiling.

joshua groans as jeonghan props his chin on joshua’s shoulder. “aah, your chin is super pointy.”

“if you kiss me i’ll take it off.”

a faint, unbidden blush spreads to joshua’s cheeks. why does he keep blushing around this man? it must be some kind of sickness.

“what is it with you and your deals? just beg for kisses like the rest of us.”

“you’re gonna have to do a little more than _this _to get _me_ to beg.”

joshua runs his hand up jeonghan’s leg, from his upper thigh to around his hip. “oh, you will.”

it’s finally jeonghan’s turn to blush, but it only seems to spur him on. he wraps his arm around joshua’s waist and attempts to drag him onto his side. joshua obliges, and jeonghan pulls him down into a kiss.

jeonghan’s lips are addicting. each soft touch against his makes joshua itch for more, burn for more. he hates each second their lips are apart, and relishes them at the same time, because that just means that he can feel their softness and pressure anew.

_____________________

they kiss for a while, lips pressing together, hands running over soft skin, clothes rumpling, hair ruffling. their breaths grow heavier, and gradually skimming touches and lips only on lips become insufficient.

jeonghan gasps out a breathless “i want you” against joshua’s lips.

and while joshua’s couch is very soft, it is not particularly good for sex.

he prods jeonghan’s stomach, exposed after joshua’s hand had crumpled his shirt up past his ribs. “then let’s relocate to the bedroom.”

jeonghan just groans. “nooo, let’s stay here.”

joshua pulls jeonghan’s now limp form by his arms. jeonghan just flops around like a rag doll. “i _just _made it warm here.”

“i’ll carry you, then.”

“okay!”

joshua carries jeonghan over to the bedroom and drops him rather unceremoniously onto the bed, where he promptly starfishes across the center.

joshua marvels at his form. “you’re making this as difficult as possible, aren’t you?”

“you said you could make me beg. i just wanna see if you’ll be up to snuff.” he says it boldly, but the tips of his ears are red.

“challenge accepted, then.”

“i certainly hope so.”

joshua sighs and gets onto the bed himself, straddling jeonghan’s hips. he leans down and kisses him slowly, refusing to quicken or deepen the kiss even when jeonghan licks over his lips or tries to take control.

he rids jeonghan of his hoodie, running his hands up underneath the hem and pushing it up over his head. he sneaks his hands underneath his shirt next, palms spanning his lean stomach and gripping onto his waist briefly, before skimming up as well and removing it. both the shirt and the hoodie end up crumpled on the floor (and joshua dismisses the nagging reminder that he’ll have to fold those before being able to have peace in his soul).

he kisses jeonghan again, just as slowly, running his hands down his chest, watching him squirm and shift underneath him. he earns a dissatisfied groan.

so joshua teases him, grinding his hips down painfully lightly, then harder, dragging his fingers over jeonghan’s nipples. he swallows the frustrated moans from jeonghan’s lips, and allows the kiss to deepen. he licks into jeonghan’s mouth, lets him take control of the kiss for a short moment before turning his attention to jeonghan’s jeans. he unbuttons them and drags the zipper down, putting pressure and letting his fingers feather over the bulge in his boxers as he strips the pants off him.

jeonghan attempts to sit up, presumably to make their current state of dress more equal, but joshua shoves him back down.

“hey!”

joshua shrugs. “you want my clothes off?”

“yes?”

“really?”

“yes!”

“say please.”

“…no.”

“then they stay on. yours come off.”

“mine are already off.”

“almost.”

joshua hooks his fingers over the waistband of jeonghan’s boxers, and only manages to roll them down slightly.

“your ass is too heavy. lift it a little bit.”

“nah.”

joshua raises his eyebrow at him. “really?”

“ye.”

so joshua wraps one arm around jeonghan’s waist, hoists his hips up into the air, and takes off his boxers without breaking eye contact. he drops him back down after.

jeonghan blinks up at him in shock.

“that. that was really hot.”

“i’m glad you thought so, you uncooperative dick.”

“hey, my dick is being _very _cooperative.”

joshua strokes his dick in retaliation, and draws out a shuddering breath from him. “true.”

he stands up. jeonghan sits up. “where are you going?”

“nowhere, i’m just going to actually remove my clothing now.”

“damn, you gave up quick.”

“oh, hush. we haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.”

“i don’t doubt that,” jeonghan breathes, unable to take his eyes off of joshua as he strips. he returns to the bed, straddling over jeonghan’s thighs again, and strokes over his dick a few times.

“pass me the lube. it’s on top there.” he gestures vaguely. jeonghan grabs it and chucks it over. he reaches behind himself, starting to work himself open. one finger. two, moaning quietly, then three, hand curled around jeonghan’s hip for support.

“condom’s up there too. chuck it over.”

jeonghan just snorts. “i’ll open it for you. we saw how well that works with lube on one hand last time.”

“you do that, then.”

jeonghan rolls the condom on his dick and joshua lowers his head to lick over and around its head, eliciting a groan from jeonghan. hands reach into his hair in a vain attempt to push him down, so he obliges and takes him into his mouth, moving up and down a few times, licking and sucking. he pulls off as jeonghan’s moans get louder.

“ass.”

he just raises himself up on his knees and lowers down until the head of jeonghan’s dick catches on his rim, pulling moans from both of them. he continues down, thighs shaking slightly, the burn inside sweet (but still, ouch). he rolls his hips back and forth, hands braced on jeonghan’s chest.

jeonghan pulls him down, kisses him _hard, _and it’s wet and sloppy, and there’s probably too much tongue. it’s not graceful, by any means, but it is one thing: desperate.

“are you good?” jeonghan’s hand sneaks back to joshua’s ass, smoothing over it and resting on his hip bone.

“yeah, why?”

“why aren’t you moving?”

“do you want me to?”

jeonghan’s eyes widen. _so this is the game._

“don’t you want to?”

“ah, that’s not the question, is it?” he _purrs, _dammit, grinding down again, and it’s too slow, and it’s pulling jeonghan’s body taut like the string on a violin.

“i.. i think… it is,” he manages, wanting to do nothing more than thrust up _hard _into the man above him, but alas, he is a little too weak. (sorry jeonghan but we know it’s true.)

“are you sure about that? is there something you maybe want to say?” one more slow roll of his hips and jeonghan can’t take it anymore, god dammit. everything’s been so slow, so _painfully slow,_ and he was so sure he wouldn’t have to do this because he isn’t _that_ desperate you know, but here he is.

“move,” and jeonghan chokes out a soft “please” at the end.

“sorry, didn’t catch that?”

“please.”

“one more time?”

“_please, _please move.”

joshua catches his lips this time and he lifts himself up, and fucks himself on jeonghan’s dick, and it’ s so good, and it is an incredible relief, like standing under a waterfall after hiking in the burning sun for two hours.

he comes first, of course, joshua chasing his orgasm and coming too.

he pulls out, ties, throws the condom in the general direction of the trash can.

“you better hope that made it in.”

jeonghan kisses his bare shoulder and tugs him into a hug, joshua’s back to jeonghan’s front.

“it probably made it.”

joshua sighs and wearily sits up, ignoring jeonghan’s pout in favor of throwing his legs over the side of the bed. “let’s take a lightning speedy quick shower. i feel disgusting but i also want to nap, but i don’t want to change my sheets. so move it.”

“coming, coming!”

they fall asleep facing each other.

joshua wakes up later the sun streaming through his blinds, a very aggressive 11:30 on his bedroom clock.

to jeonghan’s hoodie folded at the foot of his bed, and jeonghan himself quietly unpacking thai takeout on his dining table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried my best. one more chapter and then we done!
> 
> hee hee (lil goblin laugh)


	21. the last one!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, welcome to the last chapter of this story! i hope you enjoy it.

they went and did all the typical cute shit. and they did all of the typical not so cute shit. they went to watch a sunset on top of a hill, but then it started raining and they had to sprint down the soggy grass, trying not to slide and smash into each other like bumper cars. they kissed afterwards, hair wet and sticking to their foreheads.

______________________

they went to a coffeeshop, and jeonghan criticized joshua for not using the “correct” creamer. because, in his words, “all creamers are invalid, except hazelnut.”

joshua: “j is for jasmine, and for jeonghan, apparently.”

jeonghan hit him back with “and for joshua. just call us ‘Double J.’”

“i will never, _never _call us ‘Double J.’ not even on my deathbed.”

they had sex later. jeonghan pinned joshua down onto the soft sheets by stomping on his hands (because let’s face it, that’s the only way he could really do it effectively without rope or something), and proceeded to _not _let him come.

“you can come if you say ‘we’re ‘Double J.’”

“then i guess we’ll both just die here.”

around half an hour later joshua couldn’t hold out any longer, and he choked out a very begrudging “we’re ‘Double J,’” followed by a slap to jeonghan’s dick once he could move his arms again.

they laughed about it later in bed, when they were lying too close together and almost at that point of suffocating of heat under the covers, but neither person was willing to stick a leg out (and expose it to the monsters).

“i can’t believe you made me say ‘we’re ‘Double J.’”

jeonghan just giggled and kissed his cheek.

____________________

they also went to a club, and jeonghan saw joshua dance a little too freely with a pretty girl. he swallowed his jealousy with a gulp of watered-down alcohol and stole joshua away from the girl with a smile that seemed neither genuine nor pleased.

joshua teased him about it later (because of course he did).

“i can’t believe you got _jealous_. and here i thought you were mr. suave, mr. cool, mr. i-don’t-get-insecure-because-i-am-great.”

“well, i, i—. shut up.”

“but you did get jealous? because i danced with a girl?”

“yes.” and he gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.

____________________

when they got back, jeonghan sighed and wrapped his arms around joshua’s waist. he kissed him slowly.

“can i ask you something?”

“terrifying, but go ahead.” joshua absently fiddled with a few hairs on the nape of jeonghans’ neck.

“will you be my boyfriend?”

“why do we always do things in the wrong order?”

jeonghan just laughed. “so is that a yes or a no?”

“yes, but only if you promise to never make me say ‘we’re ‘Double J’’ again.”

“but that’s our branding!”

joshua raised his eyebrows. “so is that a yes or a no?”

“...fine. you have no idea what you’re giving up, though. we could have been legends. ”

“who’s makin’ deals now, huh?”

“learned from the best, of course.”

“damn right.”

___________________

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, that's the end.
> 
> thank you to everyone who's embarked on this trainwreck of a story, and to those who have commented or left kudos, thank you! knowing that people are here to read and enjoy what bullshit comes out of my brain really helps me, well, come up with more bullshit. 
> 
> please anticipate more bullshit in the future, and thank you again to everyone who has read this :) 
> 
> happy early holidays. 
> 
> -signed, 1 happy lil goblin

**Author's Note:**

> please comment, or something. feedback (or just blatant praise, to feed my tiny ego) is absolutely appreciated!


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